Man pleads with wife: Please stop with the laundry

It happened. Again.

As you may recall, M has asked me on several occasions to stop doing his laundry.

So I may have shrunk a t-shirt or 20. And sorta broke the laundry machine. And still call it a laundry machine. Does that really disqualify me from doing the laundry?

I like to sleep in M's t-shirts. Their big and comfy. So I think it's only fair that after I sleep in them, I wash them. Am I right?

Well, last night, M came home from work and went upstairs to change.

M: "Hon! Seriously?" side note: we have a bajillion nicknames for each other, none of which are anything normal like, babe, honey, etc. But I get "Hon" when M's exasperated with me.

Me: "What's wrong?"

M: "Did you wash my Guns & Roses T-shirt?"

Me: "Uh, maybe, why?" Never admit guilt immediately...

M: "Because now it's really tight in the shoulders and way too short." M. was now standing at the top of the stairs in a t-shirt that was indeed hilariously too tight and short. Opps! "Didn't I ask you to stop washing my t-shirts?"

Me: I burst out laughing and started to explain, "I thought it was only the WHITE t-shirts that shrunk. I didn't know the regular t-shirts would also shrink...." The look on his face was enough to make me stop and listen to myself.

Ok, but in my defense, I really thought his white undershirts shrunk because he didn't buy the "preshrunk" kind or something. My regular t-shirts never shrink, so I'm not sure why his did. M said it was because it's a cotton shirt and cotton shrinks in high heat.

Please let the record show: There is an absence of malice in the case of the shrunken t-shirts.

And I'm really, really sorry!

A Laundry Machine?

Can you refer to a washer or washing machine as a laundry machine? I'm seriously asking.

Last week I was out to dinner with my mom and a bunch of her friends. They were laughing with me (or maybe at me) about all of my domestic fails. They found the tales of my laundry inadequacies especially entertaining.

They were also amused -- and a bit flabbergasted, it seemed -- that I was referring to the machine by the incorrect name.

So the jury is out. Please deliberate. Is it acceptable to call a washing machine the laundry machine? Or am I really out on a limb with that one?

Back to Blogging

I may have mentioned when I started blogging that I was busy working full-time, going to grad school part-time, planning a wedding, fixing up a house, and filling our calendar with endless weekend trips. I was literally drowning in my own life (and loving every second of it). The experiences were great – I just didn’t have time to tell you about them.

While on my blogging hiatus quite a lot has happened. I had a few more laundry fails. First. The set tub. During the “snowpocalypse” in Pittsburgh, Fiance was shoveling snow constantly. So one morning he left his jeans hanging over the edge of the set tub to dry before he’d need them again in a few hours. Let’s just say after Domestically Deficient did a load of laundry they were even more soaked (not to mention full of soap bubbles) than they were post shoveling. Hey – ya win some, ya lose some.

After that, Fiance decided to make the laundry his jurisdiction. A-ok with me! But he was working late one Thursday evening and I desperately needed some clean undies to pack for that weekend’s trip. So I shoved every dirty something I could find in the laundry machine (as you may recall, I don’t believe in sorting). Problem: I left the setting on ‘small load’ when it really should have been set to ‘this load is wayyy too big for an industrial machine.’ I’m still not quite clear on exactly what happened, but somehow I shorted a circuit and broke the darn machine. Fail. Again….

I also screwed up a meal or two, and at one point let the house get dirtier than I care to admit. But I had a few wins as well.

I pulled off my first successful dinner party around Christmas time. Granted, I was entertaining my brother-in-law-to-be and his sweet girlfriend, so it’s not like it was a tough crowd to please.

I also had my future in-laws over for dinner. Aside from dinner being ready over an hour later than expected, it was a pretty great night. Again, not a tough audience to please.

And just this morning I had my parents over for breakfast. I made broccoli quiche, breakfast potatoes with green onions and asparagus and added some fresh melon and coffee to complete the meal. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

P.S. Check out my Emma dishes from Pottery Barn. Love them!

Stay tuned for an update on the wedding planning.

Fail: Fiance’s Laundry

I was home one morning waiting for the cable guy to show up and install my cherished cable, DVR and wireless Internet. With no technology to entertain me, I decided to tackle our piles of laundry.

I should note – I showed my fiancé where I set up our communal laundry basket several times. Each time he said, “ok, thanks” but continued to throw his stuff in his own laundry basket. I just figured he must have a really short term memory. So on laundry day, I brought both baskets down to the laundry room and got to work.

I’m not big on separating colors. My method is simple: all nice clothes in cold water; towels, sheets, gym clothes, socks and undies in hot.

I was nearly finished (and quite proud of myself) when my phone rang.

Fiancé : Hey, what are you up to?
Me: (enthusiastically) Laundry!
Fiancé: Ohhh, ok… Well just leave mine upstairs. You don’t have to do it. I’ll get to it later this week.
Me: (still enthusiastic) Well I was going to surprise you, but I already did yours, too!
Fiancé: (pause) Oh. (pause) You did? You didn’t wash my t-shirts in hot water or dry them on high heat, did you?
Me: Um, no (LIE!), why?

Opps! Apparently men’s undershirts shrink easily in high heat and my fiancé isn’t a fan of too tight, belly baring t-shirts. Who can blame him?

I should have known he doesn’t actually have a short term memory at all. He knew exactly what he was doing when he kept his laundry separate. It was his way of keeping me from ruining his clothes without hurting my feelings.

Guess I missed the memo on that one!